Riding solo

Horsebend Bend, Arizona | August 2018

“So is it just you and your dog?”

“Where’s your husband?”

“Are you meeting up with friends?”

“Wait, you’re out here all by yourself?”

“I could never do that, don’t you get scared?”

These are just a few of the questions I get asked pretty much every single solo trip I take. Both from well-meaning friends at home and strangers I encounter on the road.

Somewhere in western New Mexico, September 2018

I realize that the vast majority of these people are asking from a place of love and concern. And it is always nice to know people care about you and are interested in your life.

But.

(There’s always a “but,” isn’t there?)

Sometimes it feels like they are projecting their fears, insecurities, and judgements on me.

I’ve written about traveling solo before (here and here), but it feels like society gives women only three options for travel: with a significant other, usually a man; for work; or with friends or family. The notion of solo female travel, even in 2018, still feels radical somehow. Or at least based on the responses I’ve experienced.

Not nearly often enough does someone lead with “Wow, that’s awesome, I’m jealous!” or share their own solo adventures, or something similarly positive. This generally applies to acquaintances and strangers, but either way I wish more folks would start with this sentiment, rather than one that is fear-based.

West Texas | September 2018

“Do you have a gun?”

“Do you wear a fake wedding ring so people won’t think you are alone?”

“How can you trust strangers?”

These are a few more of the types of questions I get asked all the time as if I don’t take any precautions when I set out alone. Just because I don’t want fear to control my life, doesn’t mean I don’t take steps to stay safe. For example, I always tell someone my itinerary and check in when I get somewhere. I also always trust my gut and if a stranger’s demeanor is shady or their questions too invasive, I’ll lie about my travel plans and details. Even though I’m a proud independent woman doesn’t mean I am stupid.

But.

(Y’all knew there’d be another “but.”)

I wonder how often a solo man on the road gets asked any of these questions?

Grand Canyon National Park North Rim, Arizona | August 2018

Back soon with more photos from this summer’s epic seven state roadtrip!

XO

5 Stress Relieving Tips to Not Have A Breakdown During Your Session

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This post is part of an ongoing series focused on getting you and your family ready for a photo session. Read other installments on the Do’s and Don’ts of What to Wear, 5 Stressing Relieving Tips To Not Have A Breakdown During Your Session, and 3 Things to Help You Get Over Your Fear of Being Photographed, and check back for more soon.

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Since my new Pop-Up Portrait Sessions are coming up (psst, have you booked yours yet?), I thought this would be an excellent time to start a series of blog posts to get y’all ready. This is something I’ve wanted to do for a while but, well, haven’t. Hashtag blogging is hard, y’all.

As family photo season fast approaches, I imagine there might be a few of y’all out there that are beginning to feel the first tingles of stress.

Family photos are wonderful for so many reasons. Duh. Not only do they document family growth and milestones, but they help us create fond memories, too. Not just for the parents and the grandparents, but for the children, grandchildren, and generations to come.

Clichéd? Yes. True? Yes.

But, this day can be very stressful, too. I get it.

And I want to do all I can to make sure this experience is as stress-free as possible. Because as many of longtime clients will have heard me say, if y’all are stressed and anxious it will show on your face and in your body language, and your kids will most likely pick up on it, too. We want your photos to be carefree, authentic, and full of love.

So I’ve put together a little list of five tips y’all can use leading up to, and especially on, picture day to help everyone relax.

Is this list also a little clichéd? Probably. Still true and helpful? Probably, and most definitely can’t hurt to try.

1. Take some deep breaths. A common relaxation method, deep breathing can quickly calm your stress level, you can do it anywhere, and is a great place to start when managing anxiety and stress.

Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth, counting slowly down from 10 in your head while letting it all out and taking a deep breath between each number. If you’re still feeling super stressed, repeat the process again.

Another technique to relieve stress and muscle tension is to use your finger to trace a figure eight on the palm of your hand. Or before your session, try some simple stretches or yoga poses to release any tension and stress in your body.

Just because these are simple techniques, doesn’t mean they don’t work.

2. Laugh. Laughter is a great way to release stress and tension. It will also help the whole family relax before the session, as well as results in genuine smiles and interactions during the shoot.

I’m a big fan of the good ol’ fashioned tickle-monster or a good snuggle sesh to get those smiles and relieve a bit of stress.

Still working on your stand-up? Me too. So instead of jokes, for some reason having everyone pretend to laugh feels so ridiculous that everyone ends up actually laughing for reals.

These sorts of things can help to ease the family into relaxation mode before and during the session. It’s also good to remember that every photo doesn’t have to be the traditional everyone-looking-at-the-camera-and-smiling shot. It’s great to have a little variety and capture your kids being kids and reflect your family as perfectly imperfect as they are.

3. Distract Yourself. If someone is being shy, isn’t into taking pictures, is having a meltdown, or in some other way not cooperating* and you can feel your blood pressure rising, I encourage you to take a little break, maybe go for a walk or try busting out some dance moves. This will help alleviate some of your stress and the kids’ excess energy, as well as give us some good interaction shots. Another thing you can do is to simply take a step back and outta frame and let me focus on shooting other members of the family for a little bit.

*I hate to use that word, as well as break it to y’all, but when there are tiny humans involved, these kinds of things tend to happen more often than not. And don’t worry, it is TOTALLY NORMAL. I promise. So please, pretty please, don’t be embarrassed, anxious, or stressed. I get it and have seen it all.

Ahead of your your session, it may help to think of a short game that your family enjoys and can help relieve stress and loosen everyone up – it could be something as simple and silly as duck, duck, goose, or dancing to head, shoulders, knees, and toes, etc. Don’t overthink it and don’t worry if you don’t think of anything.

Still stressed? Try the old technique of going to your ‘happy place’ and try to take yourself out of the present situation and let your mind wander. 

4. Lots of XOXOs. It seems too easy and obvious, right? But not only will these make for the sweetest shots, hugs are another excellent stress reliever.

And so are kisses.

So gather your crew up in a big group hug or give your sweetie a kiss and I bet y’all feel some of those worries melt away.

If you’ve worked with me before, you know I’m a big fan of everyone touching and loving on each other. Not only do we get gorgeous images that reflect your family’s love, but it just feels good and helps everyone relax.

5. Let it go. One of the biggest stress relievers, but hardest to do, will be to try to relax and just let me take the lead.

So try really hard to keep the following in mind.

Don’t ask anyone to smile.

Don’t fix anyone’s hair.

Don’t point at the camera.

Just be, relax, love on your people, and let me do the rest.

Trust my process, hand the reins over to me, take a break from the rules, and just have some fun with your kiddos. Let it all go. I plan on covering this in more depth in another post soon, so hold tight.

So there y’all have it. Take ‘em or leave ‘em. But as my momma always says, it never hurts to try. And above all, please remember that I’ll be doing everything I can to help y’all relax and have a great time during our shoot.

I’ll be back soon with more good stuff to help y’all get ready for your close-up’s, including tips on what to wear and the eternal question of whether ‘to bribe or not to bride’ your kids.

XO

Going Solo

A few weeks ago I finally did something I've been wanting to do for several years. 

There will be some who think I'm stupid for doing it.  And some who will wonder what the big deal is and why it took me so long.

I went camping alone.

Well, of course Frankie was with me, but that doesn't really count.

The luxuries of car camping. An airbed. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

My little campsite. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

For those who fall into the first category and think I'm stupid and want to know why in this crazy world I'd even think about camping alone, it's simple.

Bad shit can happen to you at home, crossing the street, at work.  Anywhere.  You prepare as best you can and then go about living your life.  I don't want this sort of fear to stop me from exploring the great outdoors or traveling in general.

The sunrise had the sky shifting in a kaleidoscope of constantly changing colors. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

Because so what if you don't have someone to explore with all the time?  Or don't want to wait for when it's a good time for someone else to go?  Or aren't in a relationship at the moment?  Or what if you have people to go with but just want to get away for some alone time?  Are you just supposed to sit at home?

For me, the answer is a big, fat hell no. 

I'm not gonna sit around and daydream of going places once I have someone to go with.  Or settle for staying in hotel rooms instead of under a blanket of stars.  I'm just gonna go if I wanna.  It's a place I've found myself in before and already have written about once before.

Thankful for this friend. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

At this point in my life, I'm comfortable doing all sorts of stuff just me, myself, and I, and sometimes Frankie.  I hardly even think twice about most of it.  I know pretty well what my limits are and how far I can push myself.

Hiking and roadtrips with the doggo?  A movie matinee?  Eating out?  Sure, why not?

Longer trips without said doggo?  Parties and networking?  Camping?  Eh, not so much.

What keeps me from doing certain things by myself naturally depends on the activity.  When it comes to camping specifically, my active imagination plays a huge role in keeping me home or in a hotel/motel.  Thinking about sinister people, hungry wild animals, breaking my arm, or whatever fantastical scenario that flashes through my head freaks me out safely tucked in bed, so how was I ever going to do it for real out there?

I read some articles specifically by women about women camping alone to try to ease my mind and find some pearls of wisdom.  I tried to think about things rationally.  I'm doing all sorts of other stuff alone.  Why should camping be any different?

I think a big part of it starts in our culture.  Being alone is something to be avoided.  Something to be ashamed of.  Humans are social animals after all and are better off with other people, right? 

American society tells us there's something wrong with us when we are alone.  Just think of all the stereotypes and tv/movie scenes about the sad-sack eating out by themselves or the crazy old man who lives by himself.  Do I even need to mention spinsters and cat ladies? 

Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

I find all of this to be especially true for women who travel or go off to explore the great outdoors alone. 

The general consensus is that it's not safe to go by yourself.  It's risky and stupid.  You could fall and break your leg or get your arm pinned under a boulder and have to saw it off with your pocketknife.  Not to mention all the sexual predators out there just waiting to pounce on a single lady.  All sorts of terrible, horrible things could happen and there would be no one to help.

Or at least that is what society tells us.

But I'm trying hard not to buy into that assumption anymore.  And so a few weeks ago, I finally went on a 24-hour solo camping adventure. 

And y'all know what?  It wasn't scary.  Like, at all.  No terrible, horrible things happened.  

My campsite off in the distance.  Thanks to the 1959 Open Beaches Act, on many Texas beaches you can drive.  I've got mixed feelings about this, but for this camping trip it was great. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

Instead I felt a tremendous sense of pride and confidence in myself.  That warm, fuzzy, I-can-do-that feeling when you face new challenges and conquer fears, and learn you are stronger than you thought.  It was an excellent exercise in independence and self-discovery.

And I can't wait to go again sometime.  Especially back to the beach.  I'm sure there will be moments of fear and they all won't be as easy as this one, but just taking that first step was huge for me and what I'm capable of accomplishing.

My shadow and me. And a very rare selfie the morning after. I look mad but I wasn’t, I promise.| Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

I thought I'd shoot more while I was there, but I found myself content just sitting in the moment.  Listening to the crash of the waves.  Watching the birds.  Taking deep breaths of humid, salty air.

And no camera between me and any of it. 

First light. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

This is just a little peek at my adventure.  I'm also working on putting together a post with some solo camping tips and gear just in case I've inspired one of y'all to camp solo sometime.  But seeing how I'm still not very good at this whole blogging thing, I can't make any promises. 

XO

Brown pelicans get in formation. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

The beach was covered with these teeny tiny shells. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

Beach color palette. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

We heart the National Park Service and wish more of the big official parks were doggo-friendly (although we get, begrudgingly, why they aren't).  Thankfully many of the national monuments and 'lesser' parks in the NPS are welcoming to pups. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

We had the beach to ourselves. | Padre Island National Seashore, Texas | June 2018

On the way to Padre, I drove thru Rockport, one of the hardest hit areas by Hurricane Harvey almost a year ago. While they have come so far, there was sadly still a lot of rebuilding to do. | Rockport Texas | June 2018

Hiding out

"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen."

— Brene Brown

Self-portrait with my girl | Austin, TX | Jan 2018

Last April, I wrote about how I was gonna show up and be seen.

Inspired by the quote above, I promised myself I'd do better by setting some intentions for 2017. 

More blogging. 

More self-portraits. 

More vulnerability.

I thought about writing more blog posts and taking more self-portraits. 

I thought about showing up and being seen.

But instead.

I hid out.

Self-portrait in my new home | Austin, TX | Oct 2017

Well, here we are.  Another new year.

Another attempt at intentions.

At doing better.

And more blogging and self-portraits and showing up and being seen.

So, here I am.  Again.

I can only go up from here.

Right?

XO

P.S. At the time, I hated it, but this self-portrait has really grown on me.  I almost love it now.  Maybe in a year, I'll feel the same way about the one here.

P.P.S. Dear sweet and loyal clients.  I really am planning and hoping to find time to do more client blog posts.  Y'all are all so lovely and deserve a moment to shine.

'South Austin Gothic' Portrait Series

My dear friends, Jeri Lynn and Ian Ingram, are both creative, talented, and beautiful --- both inside and out.  And traditional family portraits aren't quite for them.

Sept 2017 | Austin, TX

So, for almost 10 years now, and waaay before I dared to call or even think of myself as a photographer (which, to be honest, still feels strange), we’ve been doing collaborative, stylized family portraits. 

We call the series South Austin Gothic. 

Sept 2016 | Austin, TX

Aug 2015 | Austin, TX

Besides having so much fun creating them, what I love about this series is how it marks the passage of time and reflects all of us --- the Ingram's growth as a family and mine as a photographer.

Dec 2014 | Sayulita, Mexico

While this kind of stylized portrait may not be for everyone, what it represents is most definitely for all.  So, whether I take 'em, another photographer, or yourselves, just do it.  Just take those family photos in a whatever way means the most to you.  You won't regret a single shot.

June 2014 | Austin, TX

Aug 2012 | Austin, TX

Jan 2012 | Austin, TX

Both Jeri Lynn and Ian are very talented artists.  You can shop for Jeri Lynn's gorgeous jewelry here.  Every piece of her beautiful, fair trade jewelry collection is hand-beaded by the Huichol people in the Sierra Madre Mountains of Mexico.

Jeri Lynn's husband, Ian, is a remarkable artist and teacher.  See his incredible work here, and for those of y'all in Austin, Ian has recently started offering drawing class for kids.

I only posted a few of my faves of the series here, but I love the photo below of the Ingram kiddos in front of all the portraits (although I didn't take three of the photos). 

Sept 2017 | Austin, TX

Texas Stong

Y'all, my heart breaks for all of my fellow Texans who are suffering from Hurricane Harvey. If like me, y'all have been feeling helpless, check out some of the many ways we can get involved from afar.  While Houston has received much of the attention, there are other small towns along the coast, like Rockport and Port Aransas, that took a direct hit and are almost completely destroyed. So many Texans will need help in the months to come, please don't forgot about them after the media leaves.  If you can, please consider donating to one (or more!) of the many charities below doing good work.  Know of a worthy charity?  Please leave a link in the comments.

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Greater Houston Community Foundation

Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner is asking those hoping to help Houston to give to the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund.

Pets

Austin Pets Alive is helping evacuate and house animals. They're looking for donations and foster volunteers, as are the SPCA of Texas, Houston Humane Society, and the Animal Defense League of Texas.

Texas Diaper Bank

People in crisis are often in dire need of supplies for their kids. The Texas Diaper Bank provides diapers provides items to meet the basic needs of children and the elderly. Donate here.

Food Bank Donations

• Houston Food Bank
• Galveston County Food Bank
• Food Bank of Corpus Christi
• Central Texas Food Bank  
• Southeast Texas Food Bank
• Food Bank of the Golden Crescent

Specific Aid for Communities of Color in Houston

Colorlines has a wonderful list of Texas-based charities and organizations working to keep immigrant, Black, Latinx, and other populations safe after Hurricane Harvey. 

Austin Disaster Relief Network

The Austin Disaster Relief Network is collecting items for survivors at the Hope Family Thrift Store at 1122 E 51st St. The group is requesting the following items:

• New undergarments (all sizes, children and adult)
• New socks (all sizes, children and adult)
• Toiletries (i.e.: shampoo, face wash, soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, etc.)
• New bed pillows
• New blankets
• Cleanup supplies
• Black trash bags
• Mops and buckets
• Utility knives
• Leather work gloves
• Inflatable mattresses
• Hand sanitizer
• Box fans
• Clothing is not needed; ADRN will distribute the abundance of previously donated clothing to survivors.

Families who need support from ADRN should call 512-806-0800. For info on donations or volunteering for ADRN, go here.

Monetary Donations

Several local and national organizations are collecting donations for general disaster relief efforts, including the United Way, Americares, Save the Children, Global Giving, Direct Relief, and Heart to Heart.

The Texas Tribune has a great list of resources for those in need and ways to help and give here. 

Here in Texas, and I imagine in city and states across the country, there are many local businesses are holding benefits and donation drives.  Too many to list here, but I linked to some aggregate city lists below, and social media and a little googling should lead you to many others.  Please feel free to list any benefits in the comments.

Austin

DFW area

San Antonio